Winning

Saw this great quote from Jimmy Carter - "Unless both sides win, no agreement can be permanent."

I once heard Carter interviewed about his work as a mediator in such seemingly hopeless causes. The gist of what I remember was that the only outcome he really championed, the "win" he sought, was to get each side to actually listen to their adversary, and find any speck of empathy they could. His main tool? Getting each "side" to actually speak the point of view of the other side, whether they thought it had validity or not. Carter seemed to be saying that mutual understanding was the desirable outcome, the big win.